Chillin in La Mesa Part 1

So I am back in San Diego listening to The Cure. I took about two weeks off when I got back.... basically recovering from my vacation! I mean you need to rev it up slowly after slowing down to a turtle's pace right?

Now I am back almost full throttle. I have been working my ass off. Perhaps even more than I have in the past 4 years! I am definitely getting tired and wondering where it is all going. Although I seem to slow down considerably in Nicaragua, I feel I have more meaning.

I think life can only be pure when there is meaning in it. We need to feel as though we are making some contribution to this world on a personal level. I do believe that our children are our greatest work and our ongoing memories... however I do think that we as individuals must also leave some sort of footprint on this world. This footprint can be a small imprint or a large neanderthal footprint... but it is imperative that we do leave that footprint in order for us to feel some sense of purpose.

I think we as a society become confused with materialistic bullshit to such a degree that we become blind and are somehow led to believe that acquiring wealth leads to the footprint in which we want to leaving on the world.

I think for me I seek financial gain so that I can have some form of freedom. I am seeking freedom from the time and the constraints that are forced upon me to obtain the money that leads to that freedom. I hope that I can aquire that freedom and wealth so that my kids will always have a larger air of freedom and that more of their time can be used to plant their footprint in this world and less of their time is needed to aquire wealth.

Although deep inside I know that true freedom comes from pursuing happiness and not pursuing the almighty dollar. The problem is that we are so ingrained from birth to seek the dollar that it is hard to break out of the cycle! I mean my brain is like a living dollar calculator... constantly calculating dollars and determining how many I have... how many I need and how I can get more!

Fucked up little cycle right? Hopefully I can learn the trick to pull my kids out of that cycle. Hopefully they can just maintain wealth and not need to pursue it so rigorously!