Chillin´at the Rancho...

Today I slept about 4 hours… major siesta… that was after sleeping in too… I guess the warm air just makes you tired down here! Here is a picture of my house in Nicaragua and my little clown rental car!



My neighbors...



My street...


My outdoor stove...




Now I am chillin at the Rancho drinking a beer..





So I made some headway on buying 4 manzanas of coffee. I think the deal is going through. Lots of back and forth and points when you think the deal will never happen. Business is done much differently down here. First you sit around and chit chat for about ½ an hour and then you subtly bring up the business at hand. They state their opinion and then you state yours. You haggle some. Then they get mad and threaten to leave then you get mad and threaten to leave. And finally after this give and take...you seal the deal with a handshake. Usually the bickering is about such petty things I can’t help but feel I should just give in but then you won’t be respected and the next deal you do you will get fucked for sure!

Tomorrow we will measure the property to ensure the size is as quoted and then we will have the lawyers do their thing on Monday. 1 manzana is equivalent to approximately 1.77 acres. That will bring us up to about 20 manzanas total or 35 acres of coffee…. Little by little! Of course all my peeps will be the first to get a shot at buying our delicious coffee when we manage to get it to the states! Ha! Crop comes in around December… taking orders now!


Rocking to a little Iron Maiden…. Ear phones dialed in! Man you have to love computers…. My typing becomes so much faster when I bust out the heavy metal! So hard to keep the fingers from doing the devil ears when I rock this stuff… I wonder what my Nicaraguan friends would think to see me just start major head bangin’… devil ears rockin’… tear off my shirt! Fuck yeah! 22 Acacia Avenue! They should rename the Rancho! This just in: Insane Gringo banging his head hard at local Rancho Bar and fingers permanently affixed to the devil ear sign. Must be some sort of voodoo!

Saturday night here in Nicaragua… should get fun tonight. Hopefully I’ll be safely tucked away in bed when all the madness starts going down. Early in early out is my philosophy! Just trying to keep it simple! Ok mixing it up with Jimmy Buffet and The Eagles. Music sounds so good down here. You sometimes feel that you are sooo very far away from everything you know down here. When you start listening to an old favorite like Tequila Sunrise everything comes back into perspective and life is all good!

Small ranchos around the big rancho...


Beer 3 now with Led Zeppelin bringing me up the Stairway….. They leave the empty beer bottles on the table. I guess it makes it easier to total up your final bill, but it also lets everybody else around you know how much you are throwing back! Weird!

Yeah… Nicaragua is a really cool and extremely interesting country. You definitely have to come here with an open mind however. This is definitely not your Club Med experience. Things can definitely be tough! The weather can be hot, humid and depending on where you are and what time of year it is, outright unbearable. The food can be great one day and the worse crap you ever ate the next. The bathrooms are an adventure every time! You never know what exactly you are walking into! You could walk into a normal toilet or it could be a hole in a cement slab going down into the most stinky pit imaginable.





Different philosophies on life too: When I was staying at the beach I saw the coolest neon red crabs with bright yellow spots constantly cruising everywhere around the property. Then you would see Mike come running by like superman and splat! Smashed crab guts all over! He would stomp on the craps with his foot and then kick them to the side… apparently they eat all his tropical plants and foliage that he spends hours planting. They also dig deep holes all around the property. Now a regular person may freak out on this…. I don’t mind… and when I saw a couple crabs one night creeping to my feet... well I just kicked them out of the Rancho… but I spared the guy’s life.

I nicknamed Mike, “Crab Killer”! He said these type of crabs suck to eat or make soup out of so he doesn’t mind splatting them! Stacey gave me some gigantic shrimp one night with this honey jalapeno dip that was out of this world! The shrimp were caught just up the coast… fresh and yummy and cheap! Crab is in abundance down here too! Hopefully we can get the kind we want to eat next time!

The northern part of Nicaragua… specifically the Esteli region is famous for cattle, cigars and coffee. The cigars are so smooth you don’t really feel like you are smoking. You don’t inhale the smoke to begin with, so you are just left with this really mild taste. They blow away any other cigars in the world! Cuba? Yeah, whatever! Most of the owners of the tobacco here are from Cuba! They know a good thing when they see it, or when they smoke it… in this situation!

Now if everybody can just Stop, Collaborate and Listen! Oh boy……… Now that party is jumping…. I may need to switch up to some Gran Reserva (Rum).

Now this is a roof....


Change is so slow in Nicaragua. It is so slow that it is hard to see. Yes there is definite change but for the casual observer you can almost miss it!

I think I need to make a trip back down to Granada and Masaya soon where I began my Nicaraguan journeys. This may put some perspective on the change. I first came to Nicaragua in March of 1995. I was an idealistic young man searching for meaning in my existence. I had been working in the Department of Social Services for the previous 2 years after graduating from college from Chico State with my Business Degree.

I graduated in a recession and I soon became convinced the cards were all stacked against me. I mean I had gone to college and graduated fulfilling all the preaching I had been subjected to since I was basically in the womb. I took the tough route in college… with my Business Degree. I didn’t do the Communications or Physical Education Bull Shit… sorry to those who did. But I took the tough route… hard math classes and right side brain bull shit!

When I graduated I held that fucking piece of paper… (my business degree) up like a torch. High in the sky expecting the world to lay down before me. Here it is…. Throw your money at my feet now! Man was I in for a rude awakening. People could have given a shit less about that piece of paper. When things are tough in the States… that piece of paper represents money that somebody can’t afford to pay you! OVER FUCKING QUALIFIED!

So I got my little government job doling out the welfare. My first actual real job and one of the few jobs I am actually proud of by the way. The job allowed me to work a 4-10 week. Basically 4 days a week 10 hours a day. So I had 3 days off each week. I soon began traveling south into Mexico the very minute my 3 day break began. I began traveling further and further south each week in my little VW Camper Van. I would surf and camp out, drink beers… I was really searching....

There I was searching and searching for some sort of meaning to my existence. I eventually came to the realization that I needed something more…. I’m not sure exactly how it came to me. Yet one day… the Peace Corps started to burn into my brain! The more I looked into it the more the Peace Corps started to fill the void for me and my quest was on! I began filling out all the forms and paperwork that was required. I took some exams I believe and I finally got my interview set. I put my best suit on and travelled up to L.A. Imagine my surprise when I hit L.A. traffic! Shit.

I called to say that I was running late. I got there about ½ hour late knowing that I had probably blown all my chances of making it into the Peace Corps. However the girl that interviewed me was so cool and laid back (an ex-peace corps volunteer… but I didn’t know what that meant at the time). Even as I apologized profusely for arriving late she just said no worries. She asked ne a series of questions basically to determine if I was a fucking nut case for wanting to go into the Peace Corps and give up 2 years of my life!

Her final question to me was this simple one, “Kevin what are you running from by joining the Peace Corps”? I didn’t hesitate, looked her directly in her eyes and said, “I am not running from anything, I am running to something. The Peace Corps is calling me and has been calling me for many years. I am running to the Peace Corps.”

“WOW I never heard that answer” was her response. At that moment I knew I was in.

Everything I had said was true. I had opened my heart to the Peace Corps and there was no other destiny for me! A month later the letter came in the mail.

Easy E is now telling me to Fuck the Police… now I do subscribe to that philosophy on occasion… but now that I am older and wiser I don’t trip that hard on the policia. Especially down here! The Rancho is definitely filling up! Down here you only need to be 18 to drink… and the young bloods are coming in getting their drink on! Thankfully they are listening to the melodic music of Vincente Fernandez… if I started piping my Ozzy through their speaker system this crowd may get out of control! Out of fucking control for sure!

Me and my computer...



There is a special bicycle section for the bar…. Nice!



Reminds me of a DUI on a bicycle I once received in college in the small town of Chico, CA. Where the judge laughed and asked if that was an actual crime and he had to open up his criminal code book! More on that story later! Ozzy is just going off right now… man I love guitar riffs! The Rancho is filling up… I’m getting buzzed….almost time to smoke my cigar and get out of here! Oh…. MR. Crowley…. I mean Cromley…. Ozzy missed this song by one letter!

Man… my music is so heavy tonight! Moving away from the soft stuff! Ozzy can definitely throw down!

OK Time to switch to rum! Down here you just buy the whole bottle. No messing around and they kick down a bottle of coke a bucket of ice and away you go...




So I will let you in on a little secret! I brought my mom with me on this trip! Yes my mom passed away recently. I was given her ashes. And well I am spreading those puppies all over Nicaragua. I want her to see my travels. I put some in the ocean where I stayed down in Mechapa Beach. I will put some in the cemetery here in Pueblo Nuevo and I will spread some around my house down here in Nicaragua. Ashes to ashes dust to dust… now rock on!



I’ve found that the back of a wooden match makes for an excellent poker for a cigar! I don’t know if it is positive or negative but the younger crowd seems to have learned how to drink and hold their booze and the weird violence that used to pervade in Nicaraguan bars seems to have subsided. However I think this has more to do with economics and the fact that most of the young men here seem to have money to buy beer and not have to split a bottle of cheap alcohol which generally leads to more violence…

micro-economic solutions to major problems such as early pregnancy, violence to women, etc…



In fact looking around, I am the only person sucking down the RUM…

Cigar is fired up… a slow burn…. Smooth and controlled!

Now the night draws to a close….

Closing in on last call………. My personal last call!
The electicity just went out here at the Rancho…. Only my computer is shedding light on the topic… Iron Maiden is now busting hard.

Now the electricity is back on. It was only a bref moment of obscurity! Or was it rather a brief moment of clarity?????

Now there I was standing there with my Peace Corps letter in my hands... I was so nervous! Even though I knew the result… I still opened it with trepidation.

There were the words laid out before me…. Congratulations Kevin, you have been accepted into the Peace Corps. If you accept you will be stationed in Nicaragua and will be leaving in 2 months. First thought... FUCK YEAH!!!! Second thought: O.K. Where in the fuck is Nicaragua?

Now my first choice had been to go to a Caribean Island followed by South America and finally Central America. I had been surfing awhile and I wanted to be near the coast. After busting out every map I could get my hands on I finally said, Oh hell yeah I will go to Nicaragua!

I had heard all the rumors about Ollie North Iran/Contra scandal, Sandinistas, etc… I actually imagined living in a jungle with rebels carrying AK47’s patrolling all around my hut.... But I really didn’t care. The Peace Corps would not steer me wrong.

My life changed drastically that very day. I have been reaping the benefits of my decision ever since. Life is all about forks in the road… Often times picking the less traveled, tougher path can make all the difference in your life....

Beach Adventures

Last night as I slept 10 feet from the ocean, the skies began to thunder. The loud explosions sounded like they were directly above my little cabana. That mixed with the roaring of the ocean yards away made for a nerve racking night. When I awoke, I watched the ocean lap just steps away from my cabin.

There is a river that runs parallel to the cabins here at Redwood Beach Resort. Apparently this year the tides have come up higher than usual and there has also been more rain than usual so the water has been carving down the sides of the land with the cabins facing the river which flows into the ocean. The owners are in an epic battle with mother nature trying to redirect the river and also redirect the flow of the small lake that it flows into. The erosion is very devastating and getting closer and closer to their beachfront cabins.

Apparently an ex Peace Corps volunteer runs a small backpackers hotel on the beach about 30 kilometers south of this spot and woke up one night to the tide rising and the next thing you know they were 4 feet underwater! How would you like to be a guest on that night?

This morning after coffee...





we went to the local fish shack to shop for some dinner...







The fishermn fish all night and come home in the morning with their catch...


Sleeping after a hard night´s work....

We made our purchases and on our way we went...





So for this year´s trip I decided to save some money and rent a little economy car. Since I’m here for 3 weeks, that’s like a $1000 dollar savings over renting a 4x4. Well we call these clown cars down here because they are so small and funny looking. Suzuki Alto… don’t see many in the States.

So I had no problem getting to the beach… a few bumps and mini rivers to forge. However, with the big thunder came some big rain too. I was dreading this because I had planned to head back to the mountains and I knew the little rivers I had crossed a few days before were going to be some problems.

Fortunately Mike… Mike and Stacey own the hotel here at Redwood Beach Resort. They are a great American couple and really know the area. I have been coming here and hanging out at their hotel with them for over 4 years. We go kayaking, fishing, surfing, boating and we hike the local volcano. In the evenings we all sit around sipping cocktails or we play pool or bachi ball and I tell them about the states and they tell me about Nicaragua. They are great friends.

Anyways, Mike decided to accompany back to the big major city of Chinandega about 2 hours away. He needed some supplies but I think he really wanted to make sure I made it back in one piece. He brought his tow straps just in case. They would be put to some could use! After visiting the local cockfighting center...







we ran into the first major river and it turned pretty ugly. Now normally you can just slowly go right through these things. The first couple times I did it I was nervous… especially when the water comes up over your hood! Now I kind of just blow through them.... Well I did manage to get across the water but then we got stuck in the mud.



The next guys to come along tried to go around me in some beat up truck and he got stuck too…



So now here we are blocking the whole river. It didn’t take long but the next thing you know a Nicaraguan who used to live in Miami and spoke perfect English showed up and 20 other Nicaraguans all pitched in and pulled us out. The Nicaraguan guys also had a cooler full of beers! It was hot so Mike and I enjoyed a cold beer as everybody helped drag us out of the mud. I took a look inside the beater truck and his gear shifter was all rotted out and you could see the river flowing underneath his truck from the inside… nice! We told the guys to go hve some beers on the house at Mike´s hotel!




So we had fun bouncing around the rest of the road racing through mini lakes and fishtailing on mud roads… The 4x4 would have definitely been more fun… but the little Suzuki held its own and made for some fun times.

Mike and I decided to stop at this place called Los Asseradoras where a French guy recently opened a restaurant/hotel. He is up on some hills with a 360 degree view of the ocean and mountains about 2 kilometers from the beach.







The view is absolutely beautiful. He was preparing a meal for a professional surfer Kelly Beck and her friends who own a place just down the hill on the beach. He also ferments rum with a variety of flavors: ginger, passion fruit, cinnamon, garlic and others. We sampled a few and they were delicious.



We had a nice chat with another guy from Germany and a girl from England. They had been bouncing around the country for over a year. It was a mini United Nations meeting!




Here is Mike!



After awhile we finally decided we better get going....or we were gonna polish off this guy´s rum! Since he was friends with Mike he didn´t even charge us anything... nice! I gave him a couple of my prized cigars from my mountain town Esteli... his eyes lit up! And away we went on our trip again...

These guys were working hard tossing watermellons on the road...



We finally made it to Chinandega. Now the rule is whenever you arrive in a big city in Nicaragua you always find a good restaurant and have a good meal. We decided on a great Filet Mignon lunch… $6 bucks each. Then I dropped him off with a friend of his to do his supply shopping and I started heading back to the mountain… on an actual freeway. YES! Or so I thought!

I had only gone about 3 kilometers when I was stopped in a huge traffic jam. It seems two semi’s had crashed into each other and one of the trucks had 7000 gallons of gasoline which spilled all over the 2 lane highway backing it up for miles. So there I sat for another 4 hours!



They eventually got the road cleaned up and I got on my way. I drove for another 5 hours in the evening passing various obstacles… cows, horses, local cops… and in one part a drunk guy standing in the middle of the road not moving... like a freakin statue!

COW LAYING IN ROAD!


I’m finally back in my home in the mountains unwinding after another fun and adventure trip to the beach. Time for my siesta!

"Que Hay?"

Que Hay?

So I have arrived in Nicaragua. I was flying down some dirt road in my rental car. My rental car that looks like a clown car from the circus.



Anyways I’m flying down some dirt road in the middle of what seems like a lush jungle in the northern mountainous regions of Nicaragua near the border of Honduras when a hen comes darting out into the road up in front of my path. I hit the brakes hard and began slowing just in time to see a trail of chicks frantically scrambling behind their mom trying desperately to clear my path. I thought for sure I had hit the last little straggler and I looked into my rear view mirror in anticipation of seeing the splattered remains of a little chick. However, I was happily greeted to the sight of that little chick jumping into the bushes and disappearing into the lush foliage in quick pursuit of of its mother.

Then a cop pulled me over for trying to drive around a couple semi's. I mean everybody does it! After 15 minutes of arguing... I said hey just take $3 and let me be on my way... I normally don't like participating in the whole bribery deal...but I was tired and the cop looked funny and I just said the hell with hit... I mean it's $3 freakin dollars!



Last night the rain came down hard and long. The rain came down so hard onto my tin roof that the Spanish television program I was watching was inaudible… completely drowned out… no pun intended. Not that I minded much. The rain would continue to come down hard for 6 straight hours and the little trickle of water down the hill from my house turned into a raging river. San Diego would be an island if that much rain came down in that period! The electricity went off and on sporadically throughout the night.

Nobody panics when your suddenly sitting in the pitch black of night. In fact this is usually the cause of great laughter as people scatter and fumble around looking for a candles and matches. Perhaps these situations can attest to the progress in Nicaragua... because although the electricity may go out haphazardly; everybody seems to have a cell phone which they pull out in times like these and they are put to good use as temporary flashlights. Ahh progress!

Now the day after the big rain everything is wet. However it does not appear as though a major rain just happened. Everything is wet and lush but not flooded. The streets are dry for the most part. Everything is moist and somewhat sticky. In a few days I will head to the beach. The trip will be a true adventure… a long, windy and twisted road. The Beatles must have visited the northern Pacific coast of Nicaragua when they wrote “The Long and Windy Road”!



I decided to stop by the town “Rancho”. Rancho is a bar/restaurant. It is open air with a huge palm thath roof and a bar. Tables are scattered around under the giant palm roof. There are other smaller ranchos spread around too. People sit around the different tables drinking beer and rum. They serve great food here all cooked over a wood burning stove.



Kids are free to run around or watch T.V. and the music is always vibrating loudly throughout from speakers hanging sporadically around the branches which serve as the skeleton of the "Rancho". Good times are had here for all! The regulars only give the Gringo a passing glance. After coming to Pueblo Nuevo yearly and owning a house here for more that 13 years… I am no longer a novelty in this small town of 2,000 where the main mode of transportation is bicycle followed by horse or mule, motorcycles and the rare vehicle.




Pueblo Nuevo is a small town high in the mountains. Pueblo Nuevo is surrounded by farms growing crops of beans, onions, peppers, corn, tobacco. Pueblo Nuevo is also surrounded by higher mountains which when you ascend you will find some of the best coffee in the world growing on mountain slopes and valleys in a natural forest like setting.

We own about 20 acres of coffee here. When we originally purchased the land I remember walking around and I found the land to be thick, lush and confusing. I became so lost that I did not know which direction I was walking or even how to return. Looking up was no help because I was surrounded by large trees and rows and rows and rows of coffee bushes. I was hot sweaty and tired after walking only a short distance within the land. I can only imagine the difficult task of picking each coffee bean by hand when the crop comes in. Some of the coffee grows on slopes so steep that I couldn’t imagine going down without a rope. Yet these people have been picking these same beans for over a hundred years and they are skilled enough to not need ropes or any equipment.

Some day we will figure out how to export the coffee to the U.S. and make some good money but for now we are content to sell the crops to coffee wholesalers at a pittance of its true value. The little money we do make allows us to slowly grow our operation and buy more coffee land every few years. It also helps pay for our trips down to Nicaragua and it puts some money in the pockets of her family who runs the farm.

The Rancho sells ribs cooked over open flames, barbequed chicken fried plantains, rice, etc… The funny part is that there are no menus. Most small restaurants in small towns throughout Nicaragua are the same. You basically ask what they have. “Que Hay”? When you do find a restaurant with menus they normally will only hand out one per table not to each individual. Then after considerable time spent studying the menu, your conversation will go like this, “I’ll have the chicken.” “No hay” oh man…. “o.k. I’ll have the fish.” “No hay” and on and on. Until finally in exacerbation you go back to the classic line, “Que hay”?

I’ve learned after so many years not to get upset and just start the conversation with, “Que Hay”? Much simpler and less stressful. Furthermore, when the beers are cold, the weather is wet and sticky, the tunes are cranking, why become upset over trivialities? Well? Huh? I mean this is the exact reason I travel outside of the U.S. to decompress! I mean living in the U.S. has great advantages but sometimes you feel as though you are living inside a pressure cooker!

I mean you are constantly worried about making money, spending money saving money losing money, jobs, getting a job, maintaining a job, losing a job, getting a better job, rising within your job, getting an education, getting more education, your kids’ education, are they getting a good education. Having kids, raising kids, getting kids to school, getting kids into sports and activities, making sure they are successful in their activities. Making sure our kids do their homework, doing it properly, not enough homework, too much homework, good teachers, good schools, friends, not enough friends, too many friends, the right friends, the right neighborhood. Personal time, relationships, family time, personal fitness, healthy foods, correct diet, friendships waking up on time… getting enough sleep, etc….
AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

In the end the pressure cooker pounds on us so hard we need to find some sort of escape.

Coming to Nicaragua allows me to decompress. I sleep pretty much the first 2-3 days upon my arrival. Wake up, eat, nap time, wake up, dinner time, read a little and then time for bed. After 2-3 days of this I start to get some energy again. The pace is so slow here people spend hours talking to friends, relaxing, enjoying life. Yes they work too and have kids and raise families but they just don’t seem so frantic about every aspect of their lives.



So.... here it is a couple days later and I've arrived at the beach w my host Mike and Stacey who own a hotel on the beach which is actually small cabins located directly on the beach in the Northern Pacific region of Nicaragua.

On my travels to the beach...I managed to end up in the middle of a Sandinista caravan of hundreds of buses and trucks on their way to Nicaragua's capital to celebrate their independence day! These guys are so hard core they even ride on top of the buses!




So I am now at Redwood Beach... in Mechapa, Nicaragua. The surf is big and formidable.... I am staying in a cabin steps from the beach.... check them out at redwoodbeachresort.com



This is one of the most remote parts of Nicaragua. I was literally driving through lakes and riverbeds to get here.... but oh man.... is it one of the most beautiful unspoiled beaches in the world! Now we are going to play pool "American Style" with the beach as our background! Mike is going to get spanked! After spanking Mike in pool... I will definitely be hungry and I will politely ask, "QUE HAY"???????

The Day When Love Will Catch Your Fall....... College love....

As I hold my pen I struggle to find.... the reason you’re slowly taking over my mind.

As much as I fight and attempt to resist, I find the shackles on my ankles and the cuffs upon my wrists.

It’s impossible to fight it. It’s much too big for me, the strength of the feelings have brought me to my knee.

Here I must rest until I can begin anew, to fight this mighty beast which is the love I feel for you.

I’ve been fighting this battle for oh so very long, will the beast ever die or is that even wrong?

I sharpen my sword and prepare for a bloody fight, perhaps I’ll wave my white flag for just this lonely night.

But I fear the beast will sense this and he’ll move in for the kill, he’ll stab me in my heart then I’ll have to give to you my will.

The beast is closing in I hear the distant rattle..... so I cross my fingers and head back to the battle.

Although I’ve only known you for a time that was so brief, I understand your feelings and sympathize your grief.

All you’ve ever wanted was to give a little joy... but people don’t understand this and treat it like a toy.

I know its very scary to take away the wall, to scream so very loud and let someone hear your call.

So out the door you go for another night of play, to forget about your problems and brighten up your day.

I know it may be hard, to you an impossible feat, but one day you will open up your eyes and your true love you will meet.

And when this day does come you’ll stand so very tall, for this is the day when love will catch your fall.

Childhood memories.....

So my friend and I decided to walk to Gina’s house one Saturday night. It was about 10 P.M. She lived about 2 miles away. We didn’t really see the problem at the time. Oh, did I forget to mention we were 12 at the time?

So we take off and began one of our many adventures. We searched for secret treasures along the route. We pretended that we were in warzones and had to escape patrolling enemies. We also pretended that we were criminals; bank robbers to be specific and we hid from all approaching cars knowing that they were undercover police officers waiting to arrest us for our misdeeds.

After a long journey, we finally arrived at Gina’s house and our hearts began to race.

Oh yes… Gina. Gina being the pretty girl that all boys had a secret crush on in the 6th grade. Well, all boys that attended the lovely John Adams Elementary. More on that story later…

Gina was definitely in a class of her own. She was a pretty little Italian girl. Pretty, yet mellow and cool. She wasn’t stuck up like her friends. I always wondered why she hung out with them. Peer pressure was such a strong pressure in those days. Somehow I found a way to cut her slack.

I was new to John Adams Elementary in those days. It was tough being the new kid. I remember my first day walking to the Adams rec. center the summer before entering 5th grade. I had just moved to Normal Heights and I had decided to walk down Adam’s Avenue with my little sister to check out the local rec. center.

For the previous 4 years I had been living in Santee. I had been living a rural existence for the past few years of my short youth. I was accustomed to dirt roads. I remember walking down the roads in Santee and walking past horses, pigs, ducks and chickens to get to school.

Now here I was walking down a busy cement road. It was so strange to be in an actual city. I remember arriving at the rec. center with my sister. When we entered the rec. center everybody looked up at us like we were Martians. We felt so out of place. We decided to wait in a line to play foosball. After playing a few games of foosball we went outside to play basketball. My sister watched as I struggled to play basketball for about an hour.

As we were leaving, a big black guy named Jerome began to bug my little sister. He was making rude remarks and he was really pissing me off. I must have been in my chivalrous mode back in my youth because I remember that I would not let anybody get away with teasing my little sister.

One must remember that before this time, I had only seen one black guy in my life. At the time I remember my heart beating so hard I thought it would burst out of my chest. I went up to him and in my deepest voice I said, “Shut the fuck up.” I was so scared. All of a sudden an even bigger black guy came up to me. He looked at me and looked at the other guy and said, “If you guys are going to fight, go ahead I will make sure nobody jumps in.” And this is how my first fight ever began.

The fight was pretty much a draw. Tyrone threw some punches, I threw some punches. I wrestled him to the ground and then it got broken up. After the fight I learned that the “even bigger black guy” was named James and he was the older brother of Tyrone. James would later save my life in high school. More on that story later.

I would later begin my elementary school career and almost from the first day I remember a smart, smug little blonde asshole named David. David somehow possessed a charisma back in those days that drew little boys to him. Although I respected David’s wit, I never felt the draw. David grew strength in belittling others and his friends all grew strength with each new ploy. Being the new guy, David needed to assert his power over me. Or at least try.

David began making fun of the fact that I always wore my USA wrestling jacket. “so, you are a wrestler?” “Wow, you must be a great wrestler”. He made numerous snide remarks but nothing that would ever lead to an all out fight. David was friends with Kenny. Kenny was a big guy. Basically, Kenny was David’s bodyguard and the big guy on campus. Funny that this was even a worry in Elementary School! I mean, really?

One day we were walking down a hallway at school and David had put Kenny up to making fun of me and my jacket. The one thing that David and Kenny did not know was that I actually had been a champion wrestler in the East County and I had travelled all over the United States wrestling in championships. I finally got so mad, listening to the teasing behind me that I turned around and grabbed Kenny and threw him in over my back in my best wrestling move. Kenny ended up in the dirt and I landed on top of him.

Needless to say, I had proved that I was not one to be messed with. From that day forward David never made another comment against me. We both knew that my anger had been directed at him and Kenny was just the receiver of that anger. Kenny would go on to be a good friend and a gentle person… David and I would actually mix it up once more in Junior High at a Palomar Campground retreat. I always will believe that David had internal struggles and could have been a great person if he ever would have come to terms with his inner self….

So here we are hiding in the bushes across the street from Gina’s house. Ah yes Gina. So, Gina was definitely the girl that all the boys were in love with in 5th and 6th grade. I remember all the boys telling me about Gina when I entered 5th grade. “Gina this and Gina that”.

I was confused from the beginning. Perhaps women have been confusing me ever since….

When I first saw the pretty blonde girl I knew immediately that this must be Gina. I passed most of my 5th grade year confusing Carla with Gina. Fortunately for me, Carla lived next door to my new friend. I remember playing games in the alley behind her apartment showing off in hopes she would look out her window. We would eventually connect and I would realize that she was actually Carla and not Gina. We began playing games way back then. We started drinking from her mom’s liquor cabinet. Oh where were the parents?

I remember one day my friend and I were playing in the back alley looking up to Carla’s window and waiting for her to look out. Suddenly, my friend said, “Hey look it’s Gina”. And that was the first time I saw her. I remember thinking, wow… pure beauty.

Being a new student from a different setting, I was too shy to actually talk to her! I remember thinking that all my previous impressions of her from my friends were true. I was now keenly aware of who all the boys had been talking about!

Now here were the following year across the street from her house. Unfortunately, our plans had only been drafted to arrive at her house. We really hadn’t thought past stage one! Now what? Should we knock on the door? The lights were on….

We decided to hide in the bushes across the street and do some surveillance first. We noticed the occasional car going by. We managed to get a good feel for the area. Hey, we were criminals after all….

After about 20 minutes of high tech surveillance we realized that neither of us really had the courage to actually knock on her door… so we made a joint decision to pack in the surveillance operation and we decided it was time to head home.

So we began walking down the street. At some point we came to a crossroad. My friend said that we needed to go right. I insisted he was wrong and that we must go left. I prevailed and we continued on our journey.

After about ½ hour and many blocks down the road, guess who happens to pull up next to us? Yes, a police car… our nemesis had finally caught up to us! He was at least nice enough not to put on the lights and sirens. Had we finally been caught for our bank robbing ways??? He stepped out of the police car and began to walk over to us.

My friend and I were so nervous standing there. Our hearts were really racing now… and we were far away from the comfort of our house! We knew at any moment we would be handcuffed and taken away to live out our youth behind prison doors. As Mr. Policeman was about to arrest us, the passenger door of the police car opens and a lady got out. She began to walk to us. As she got closer we became aware that we both recognized each other.

“Kevin?” she asked surprised.
”Ms. Kay?” I exclaimed even more surprised.
Turns out it was a teacher from our elementary school.
“Where are you going this late at night?” she said.
“Home.” my friend and I answered in uniform.
“And where do you live?” she asked.
“Felton and Monroe,” we stated.

“Well, you must be lying because you are walking in the opposite direction from your home.” She said. Ooops, I guess my friend was right! We had been walking in the opposite direction of his house for over ½ an hour.

Just then Mr. Policeman began to walk closer to us. As he approached, we were once again surprised. It turns out the 12 year old criminal posse had been pulled over by Officer Baker;

John Adams Elementary School’s police liaison.

As we stood there frozen, Officer Baker walked up to us and says, “Well get in!” as he opened up the police car door.

So we ended up getting a police escort back to my friend’s home. I was spending the night with him that night. When we arrived at the home, Officer Baker made us turn the porch light on and off as we entered the house to let him know that we were in safe. We were so nervous that he would want a parent to come out… because in actuality we were all alone! We were the babysitters!

Once we got inside… my friend and I began cracking up hysterically. Why after being driven home by law enforcement and a teacher from our school did we find so much humor in all that had transpired that night? Well, we finally realized that all the rumors were actually true!
Ms. Kay actually was getting it on with Officer Baker! Oh we had a great laugh that night… But we soon realized that it was time for SNL…. And we moved on to more important things.

Gina and many other girls would continue to be a mystery for us as the years progressed… those would continue to be stories that evolved as we grew older. However, from that day forward whenever we saw Ms. Kay or Officer Baker at our school…. we only had to look at each other and an enormous grin would cross our faces. We never did let our friends know about our little secret.

But, oh yes…. Deep down inside we were content in the knowledge that we really were criminals, if even for just a night!!!! Well perhaps not criminals in the actual sense but we were definitely unique.

Of course I learned a lot about being unique as my friendship grew with Trout. Yes, that was my friend’s name. Actually his full name is Justin Cody Trout Fishing in America Rogers. His mom was a hippie or ex hippie. Our youth was filled with unique experiences. We packed a lifetime of adventures into a short amount of time and we grew up fast in that small amount of time. We were free to roam and discover and we took full advantage of the situation. Our childhood adventures had just begun… and they would only get more interesting!

Life's Journey...

As I have journeyed through the realms of life, I have come across many experiences that have shed light on many answers. However the light that has been shed has made me realize that for each answer there are yet two more questions.

Thus I no longer strive to acquire the answers. Yet, only look and study the questions. For I have found that this is the quickest way to the truth. The truth... what may we say about the truth? I BELIEVE NOTHING.

As I search and strive to find truth, I find my endeavors moot, voiceless in a sea of ambivalence. For in this sea there are no ears to hear her beckoning call. As I cry out for help I slowly begin to understand what I perceive as the truth. The truth; the absolute, the answers.... are dangling in front of all who wish to grab it.

Yet, as of today, the truth still continues to avoid us. Why must we continually run in directions that foster the truth in the short run? If we are to succeed we must look farther and farther. We must strain our eyes until we can no longer see. For only there, in the darkness, in the farthest most reaches of our minds, lies the ultimate truth. So I implore each being to tear away the cobwebs and search the mind to reach the final plateau of happiness.

Through love and happiness within we will find the temple of holiness.